I’ve been drifting between moods for a while now. I contemplated starting this post with all the things I hate about what’s happening in my life right now but as you can see, I'v chosen to the cheerier route.
I miss home :( … I'm sure this goes without saying. I’ve been trying my best however, to feel better… I will admit that I could try a little harder.
For days on end, I’ve been listening to the sultry, sad, bluesy melodies of Adele and that has done nothing to me but start a bawl-a-thon (I’m very in tune with my emotions… no apologies will be made for feeling feelings) but now I’ve changed my genre and Paramore’s alternative lyrics and beats aren’t really helping me that much either. I’m looking for a healthy selection.... like something lying in between all of this. I miss home and there’s not much I can do when the feeling comes to me but at the same time, I should be enjoying the wonderful experience that I’ve been blessed with. Do know that I am very grateful for this opportunity; but a girl has the right to feel how she feels… right?
Adele’s songs of love lost, missed opportunities and feeling strongly for the "one who will never be" have been therapeutic in the sense that I get to sing along and get my emotions out but at the same time, they just make me... well... sad L. The worst part of this whole thing is, in a weird way, feeling sad is sort of my comfort. Sounds crazy? I’m on a quest to find something that reminds me of home but at the same time, not make me yearn for it so much that I reach the point of flooding my bed with tears.
I spoke to my sister and 3 year old nephew about two days ago. He was so excited to talk to me and tell me that I was on the plane; count with his fingers, fiddle with the computer like a big boy, show me his school shoes (and his round belly) all while searching up and about the computer to find out exactly where I was hiding :D. I mean, how is aunty talking to me on this device right? The kid has a right to know!
I love him so much ♥ Then the same day, my mum calls and I speak with a nice lady from church who has always had a soft spot for me and vice versa. Adding insult to injury, I spoke to my sister who just had a baby three months ago (I missed it L) and she misses me and said she should be sending me new pics of the baby soon…(sigh). What an eventful afternoon my eyes had! I held it together for as long as I could… I really tried.
Good news is, I should be heading home in a few short months, given that the rise in fuel prices doesn’t choose to foil my plans of freedom and spiritual redemption (i.e. regaining my sanity by hitting the concrete at V.C. Bird International Airport).
In other news… I worked out for the first time in 4 months! It was good but not as rejuvenating as I thought it was. I lost the vibe in the midst of setting up. I was able to bear thorough it to the end. I did some yoga with my friends for about 20 minutes then I ended with a few abdominal exercises (do I sound too technical saying abdominal and not abs like the rest of the world?). I’m feeling better about myself today but the sadness still lurks.
Before I go, I want to say hi to my readers in Germany, Malaysia and Singapore. It's pretty cool having readers from these countries… well at least to me! Germany, I see you! You’ve been here quite a few times too! Nice having you and I do hope that you will come again! Feel free to leave a “hello” for me in the comment box if you ever show up again or even email me (den4268@gmail.com).
A bientôt! (That means “see you soon” in French or “the language I SHOULD be practicing” as it has been referred to lately.
Ooooohhh ooohhh oohhh!!! Say hello to my new teddy bear :D (I got him under special circumstances thanks to the creepy guy in the store)
He doesn't really have a name yet. I’ve been trying out a few but none are really sticking...especially the first one (which, btw was a girl's name until I realized his features were more on the masculine side :D) What do you guys think I should name him?
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